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Page 21

“Uh…I think half and half,” she answered.

  “Okay, cool,” I said, “hold on.” I then told the florist that I wanted to send someone a dozen roses, half red half pink.

  “Um, Danny…” said my sister, “I need to talk to you.”

  “Sure, what’s up?” Before she could get another word in, I said, “Screw it. I’m going all red. Hold on.” Then I changed my order while she waited.

  “Danny…” she said again.

  “Yeah, sorry, Jamie. Go ahead. I’m listening. Hope you don’t mind, though, if I fill out this form for the flowers while we talk.”

  “Look, it’s Ma.”

  “What about her?”

  “She wasn’t on a trip like she said. She…” My sister then broke down crying.

  “What? Tell me!” I urged.

  Through tears she managed, “Look, finish ordering the flowers and then come over here, to HER place.”

  “Ma’s place?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s wrong? Is Ma there?”

  “Yes. We’ll talk about it when you get here.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I said. I snapped my cell shut and twelve minutes later I was knocking on my mother’s door.

  Jamie answered and the first thing she did was put her arms around me and start crying again.

  “I’ll go make some more tea,” I heard a woman say. I looked up and saw some older lady in a nurse’s outfit.

  Jamie pulled away from me, composed herself and said to the woman, “Thank you. You’re really thoughtful, Rose.” Then the woman walked into the kitchen.

  “Who the hell is Rose and where’s Ma?” I asked.

  “Asleep in her bedroom.”

  Now I started to shake. “Is Ma sick?”

  “Yeah,” answered Jamie, “Come in and sit down.”

  I followed my sister to our mother’s brand new couch. On the way, I had a quick flashback to the day we sat on the floor waiting for all the new furniture to be delivered. Ma was so happy, so excited about all her new stuff, and her new outfit and new hair. I resented her that day. And now, not knowing what was wrong with her yet, already I felt guilty.

  “Ma has breast cancer,” Jamie said.

  “What? When did she find out? Did something happen on her trip?”

  “There was no trip, Danny. It was a lie. She didn’t want us to know about the cancer, so she pretended she was going on a cruise. She’s been having radiation treatments and last week she had surgery. And now she has to have chemotherapy.”

  As she gave me more details about Ma’s prognosis and condition, I sat and listened, still trying to absorb the shock of it all and probably retaining thirty percent of the information. I asked a few questions, some of which were answered by Rose, who had come out of the kitchen and introduced herself. Rose seemed cool, and I immediately liked her and felt comfortable with her. Still, I was so stunned by learning the truth that I could barely focus on most of what they were telling me.

  When Rose went to check on Ma, Jamie told me the story about how she found out the truth. As I listened, the guilt compounded. I’d been so angry with Frankie. I’d thought she was selfish and superficial and pretty much nuts for asking us to have babies for money.

  “I couldn’t feel worse,” I said to my sister, “I’m a horrible son.”

  “No,” she responded, “You didn’t know. Neither did I.”

  “It all makes sense now. Ma wanted us to have babies because she thought she was going to die.”

  Jamie nodded in agreement. I put my head down in sadness and in shame. Just then Rose appeared in the doorway. “Your mother’s up.” Instantly, I got up and went into her bedroom. The sight of her was shocking. My ordinarily loud, gregarious, happy mother seemed like a quiet, frail, old woman now. It took my breath away.

  “Hi, Ma,” I managed, my voice almost a whisper.

  “Hi, my sweet boy,” Ma replied softly, “Come sit with me.”

  I sat down on the edge of her bed and took her hand. It felt really small, and I realized that the size of it was no different than it had always been, but how I viewed my mother had changed in an instant. She was no longer the strong, self-sufficient woman I knew. She needed me now. And that made me sad but proud of her, too. Proud because I realized that her whole life, Frankie had been a survivor. She was a single mother who raised us and gave us a good life. And I’d never appreciated that.

  “I don’t know what to say, Ma. I’m sorry this happened to you and I’m sorry for acting like I did.”

  “You acted just fine,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “Can I hug you?”

  “Please do.”

  I bent my head down and hugged my mother, and I felt like a little boy while I cried on her for a long time.

  “I love you, Ma,” I said.

  “I haven’t heard you say that in a long time.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “You know something,” Ma said, “I’m not glad I got cancer, but I think everything that’s gone on in the past few weeks might make our little family a lot stronger.”

  “Just get better, Ma,” I said, “Just get better.”

  A little while later, we all agreed we were hungry. We decided to order Chinese. As usual, the meal was delicious. What was new at the table, however (besides the new table), was the fun conversations we were having versus the old, miserable ones, which had always been about the lack of grandchildren.

  On this night, we talked about old times, old memories and the most special topic of conversation, my dad. Finally, I wanted to hear all the stories Jamie already knew. My sister had no problem hearing them again, and Rose seemed to be entertained as well. The stories about my parents were wonderful and funny and sweet and important.

  “Can I ask you something, Ma?” I asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Why didn’t you ever get remarried?”

  “I went on a few dates, but I knew I’d never get married again.”

  “Why not?”

  Ma got tears in her eyes when she answered, “Your father was and will always be the love of my life. Seven years together was all I got, but I wouldn’t change things even if I could. It was a great seven years.”

  “Weren’t you ever lonely?” Jamie asked.

  “If I answer that question, it’s just going to make you feel badly.”

  “So you were,” I said.

  “Sometimes, but it was okay. I had you two. And hopefully, someday, on your terms of course, I’ll have some grandchildren.”

  “So does that mean the deal’s off?” I asked with a smile.

  “Let’s just say,” Frankie answered with a big grin, “Everything’s on hold for now.”

  After dinner, we sat in the living room drinking coffee and eating Rose’s homemade chocolate chip cookies. My questions about my parents continued, and Ma told us a funny story even Jamie had never heard.

  She began, “The summer before your dad died, he surprised me with a weekend getaway to Wisconsin for our anniversary. So, grandma came to watch you two, and off we went. We got off the exit to the little town where we were headed, and turned onto a dirt road, which according to dad’s directions would get us to our motel. The only place it got us was lost. We found ourselves in the middle of nowhere, and we hadn’t seen a car for awhile. We were all alone out there.”

  “Please spare us any details of any sexual activity that might have taken place,” I joked.

  “Daniel Jeffrey Jacobson!” Frankie scolded with a giggle. Everyone laughed.

  “Continue, Ma,” Jamie urged.

  “We were getting more and more nervous, and then things took a turn for the worse. A tire blew. Now we were really scared. The funny thing was, though, I always felt safe with your father.”

  “So what happened?” asked Rose.

  “So we pulled over to the side of the road, which was really the grass, and after a half hour or so a guy in a pick-up truck stopped and offe
red to help. He told us he would drive to the nearest gas station and get us a tow truck and that we should plan on it being there in an hour or so.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked, “I’d have forced myself into that guy’s truck and made him take me with him.”

  “Yeah, how did you know he was coming back?” Jamie asked.

  “You’re missing the best part of the story,” Frankie answered, “It’s about what happened while we were waiting for the tow.”

  “Ma, I asked you not to give us any details of yours and dad’s sex life!” I joked again.

  She giggled and then went on, “Dad turned on the radio and found some seventies station, and we sat there listening to the music for a few minutes. Then I began to dance, and dad joined me. Then, I started doing the Electric Slide.

  “You know the electric slide?” asked Jamie.

  “You bet I do!” Frankie exclaimed, “I taught your father how to do it. And when the tow truck arrived, the guy found us in the middle of a dirt road doing the electric slide, The Commodores blaring in the background.”

  Rose teased, “No offense, but you don’t seem like the electric slide type.”

  “Are you challenging me, Rose?” Ma asked playfully.

  Jamie and I sat there listening with grins on our faces.

  “I sure am,” said Rose, rising from her seat and heading toward the stereo.

  “There’s a CD in there called Seventies Gold. Play that,” Ma requested.

  Rose pressed play, and within seconds we heard, “At first I was afraid, I was petrified…just thinking I could never live without you by my side…” It was Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive.

  A minute later, Frankie Jacobson was standing in the middle of the living room floor doing the electric slide, and with amazing rhythm and style no one would have expected. I realized right then that I’d never seen my own mother dance. Rose joined in while Jamie and I continued watching and giggling at these two cute women getting down.

  “Don’t even tell me you two don’t know this dance,” Rose called to us.

  “Please, don’t insult,” I answered, just before joining in. Step, slide, step, slide, step, slide, clap. Step, slide, step, slide, step, slide, clap. Jamie was next. Rock forward, rock back, rock forward, turn, touch.

  As the four of us danced together and sang and laughed, it was as if we were celebrating something. And the reality was that we were. This was the start of our new and improved family, the beginning of a closeness and warmth that had been missing for such a long time. Frankie, facing breast cancer, and Jamie and I dealing with that, not to mention our broken hearts, couldn’t have been happier at this moment. Yes, we all had worry and sadness in our lives, but now our hearts were open and we were appreciating something extremely special and meaningful; each other.

  As for Rose, it was obvious she was going to be a welcome addition into our little clan. She’d told Jamie earlier how much Frankie was paying her, and even though it was a ton of money it seemed well worth it. Rose was great to have around. Upbeat, sensitive, caring, funny, talented in the kitchen, and a fabulous dancer! Plus, I could see that these two women had become very good friends. And since money certainly wasn’t an issue for Frankie, who cared about the cost?

  We continued to dance and sing, “As long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive…I’ve got all my life to live, and I’ve got all my love to give, and I’ll survive…I will survive…I will survive.”

  I will survive. Wasn’t that the truth? I would try to get Courtney back, but even if I didn’t, I would survive. Jamie would try to work things out with Drew, but even if she didn’t, she’d survive. Most importantly, Frankie would beat cancer. She would survive. She had to. Wasn’t that all that really mattered? I had my family. Knowing that, I felt like the luckiest guy on earth.

  Chapter 39

  I got a couple strange looks when I walked past the security guys in the lobby of WGB. I actually couldn’t believe they didn’t stop me. I mean, I didn’t work there anymore.

  “Hey guys!” I exclaimed with a dashing smile and a wave. One of them waved back. The rest just smiled, all looking extremely confused.

  It was two minutes before the start of the lottery drawing and I knew everyone was in the studio. I had no idea who they got to temporarily replace me, but it didn’t matter. The person wouldn’t be doing the lottery today. I would be. I charged into the studio.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I heard Richard say.

  “My job,” I said loudly, but without looking anyone in the eye. Then I walked on stage and grabbed the microphone out of the hands of some mousy little blonde girl who I’d never seen before.

  “Thank you,” I said to her.

  The girl was completely stunned. Surprisingly, though, she conceded easily and walked off the set. I locked eyes with Richard, who was powerless to do anything since we’d be on-air in less than a minute. In a low, controlled voice, he said, “Don’t screw up, Jamie. I’m warning you.”

  Instead of responding, I turned and looked at the mousy blonde, who was standing off stage looking like she might cry. Anything not to look at my now old boyfriend whose face was behind the camera that would shoot me.

  “Hold still, please,” he said to me, “I need to get a focus.” His tone was the same as it had been the day before; cold, distant and angry.

  The stress of having him ten feet away and seeing me through the lens was almost unbearable. He’d been shooting me for years, but today it felt like there was a complete stranger behind the camera. Worse, actually, because I knew he hated me. He thought I was evil, after all. And he was looking closely at me, focusing on my every move. It felt almost creepy.

  “Three…two…” said Drew. “One,” he motioned.

  As if I’d just taken a magic pill, I fell back into my old self, performing as perky and cheerful as ever. As I pulled the balls out of the bins and called out the numbers, I wondered if the audience was surprised to see me on-air. After my performance a day earlier, I was sure they all figured I got fired. I was very wrong, and would later find out that because of my little escapade, the number of viewers on this day was up fifty percent. Apparently, the audience was dying to see what might come out of my mouth today. I have to say, I didn’t disappoint.

  I finished the number picking with no surprises or variations from the norm, but when I went to sign off, the audience received the drama they were hoping to get.

  “Again, your pick three is two seven nine…and your pick four is nine eight one two.” I paused for a second, feeling the tension of the crew, (especially Richard) each holding his or her breath, awaiting my next move. When I spoke, they didn’t have the luxury of peacefully exhaling.

  “Can you even imagine winning the lottery?” I began. I could almost feel people’s teeth gritting, but I didn’t care. I actually thought it was funny. “I mean think about it. The chance of winning is one in millions!” Next, I shot Richard a quick look. He appeared like he might blow a gasket. Still, I went on. “I want everyone to know something. Love is the same way. The odds of falling in love can sometimes feel really high. Why bother, right?”

  “What the…” I heard Richard say.

  Still, I continued. “Well, I’m here to tell everyone to play the lottery, both for money and for love. Take a chance. It’s worth it. Especially love. I know this because I’m in love, and it’s the best feeling in the world.” I took a deep breath. “Drew, I don’t know exactly when I fell in love with you. I think it might have been on the fifty yard line at Soldier Field. And I know you don’t like me very much right now. You think I’m evil. I’m not evil, Drew. I’m just a girl who made mistakes. I’m so sorry.” Now I knew the entire crew had their mouths wide open. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I love you. I think I always have. I was just too stupid to see it. And as wrong as it was, this whole thing forced me to look at you. And I’m thankful for that.” I felt my eyes well with tears. “Even if you can’t get past this, I’m
thankful that you were mine for a little while. I love you.”

  I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling amazingly relieved because I’d said everything I needed to say. A very satisfying sense of inner peace and serenity came over me. “For WGB…” I began, but I didn’t get to finish. Before I knew it, Drew abandoned the camera, ran up on stage, grabbed my shoulders and began to kiss me.

  “Shit!” I heard Richard say, but I couldn’t see him because I was lip locked. I found out later, Richard jumped out of his seat and quickly got behind the camera to take over Drew’s job. The next thing I heard was applause. The entire crew started clapping and cheering.

  “Sign off!” Richard shouted.

  I broke away from the embrace, held the mic up, and said to the audience, struggling not to giggle too much, “Sorry about that. Have a wonderful day. For WGB, I’m Jamie Jacobson.”

  “Go to credits!” shouted Richard.

  “Forgive me?” I asked Drew.

  “You bet,” he said with a big grin.

  Although deathly afraid to look at the temporary camera man, I did. Surprisingly, Richard smiled and gave me a wink. When he walked out of the studio, I said to Drew, “Think they’ll give me my job back?”

  “Of course. You just gave Chicago some outstanding live drama. Watch out. Our ratings are about to explode!”

  “I don’t care about ratings,” I said with a grin, “All I care about is you.”

  Drew kissed me again and at that moment, I realized something. I was the one who just won the lottery.

  From The Chicago Tribune, Faces and Places section, October 15, 2011.

  LOVE IS ON THE AIR

  Local Lottery Host Declares Love for camera operator on air

  Jamie Jacobson, WGB’s mid-day lottery host, whose mother won the lottery a few weeks ago shocked viewers with her announcement at the end of yesterday’s lottery drawing that she was in love with Drew Conrad, the camera operator she works with…

  Chapter 40

  “Let’s go back to your place and have make-up sex,” Drew whispered in my ear while we walked back to my office after the lottery.