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Page 13


  “Ready?” asked Drew, his hand on the remote, ready to press play.

  “Sure.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just think it’s really strange that my mother’s going on vacation. She’s really changed.”

  Drew smiled, “money changes people.”

  “You don’t know the half of it!” I wanted to shout out. I didn’t, though. I just answered, “I guess you’re right.”

  And while I watched an older Michael Corleone dance with his seventeen year old daughter, I found myself thinking about the changed Frankie Jacobson. And then I realized something. Who was I kidding? She hadn’t changed. Just as my mother was psychic when it came to me, I realized I could read her, too. Ma had not changed. Something weird was going on. And my gut said that something was very, very wrong.

  Chapter 20

  The next morning was Sunday. Drew had to get up early and go home because he had to work. After he left, I drank a pot of coffee, read three newspapers, and then started a new movie script. The idea: a woman who offers her son and her daughter millions of dollars to have babies. Pretty clever, huh? Essentially, it was a fictitious adaptation of what my nutty mother was putting Danny and I through. I figured this whole nightmare had to have a silver lining, so why not write about it? A person bribing her kids for grand-kids was so far-fetched, it seemed like fiction. People would think that was funny, right? I didn’t think it was funny in the least, but I figured, why not capitalize on it?

  As I typed away on my laptop, the words flowing easier than they ever had with any script I’d written, the story as compelling and engaging as it was in real life, I felt I was writing something that would surely sell. The irony was killing me. My crazy, unethical, messed up life was the root of an amazing movie script that might make me a ton of money. Maybe I wouldn’t need Frankie’s after all!

  Later in the morning I called Ma to get more details about the cruise. To my dismay, Frankie rushed me off the phone, saying she had a lot to do before the trip, such as last minute shopping, packing and cleaning.

  “Can I help?” I asked.

  “No, thanks. I’m good.”

  “Can I at least drive you to the airport tomorrow?”

  “Thanks, honey, but you have to work, and I have a limo coming at eight.”

  This made sense to me. A multi-millionaire was getting a limo to take her to the airport. That’s why I didn’t push it. I said good-bye and hung up, but just as I had the night before, I felt very uneasy about the way my mother was acting. Was her extreme uncharacteristic behavior a byproduct of being nouveau riche or was I missing something?

  I decided to call Danny.

  “What do you think?” I asked him.

  “I think it’s great,” he exclaimed, “Maybe Ma will start traveling and get her mind off becoming a grandmother. Who knows? She might end up realizing how nuts she’s being and how much she’s screwing with our lives.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” I told him, “But still, something’s fishy. It’s weird.”

  “Look, I think you’re reading into things too much. Relax. Be happy for her. More importantly, are you pregnant yet?”

  “Danny!”

  “What? Isn’t it a valid question?”

  “I guess,” I said with a shrug, “I could be pregnant. I don’t know yet.”

  “Boy, that would be nice for you, huh?”

  “Sure. I’ll be rich.”

  “Look, Jamie, I really do think you’ll be a good mother. I mean it.”

  “Thanks,” I said to my brother as I stared at the living room floor and daydreamed about what I’d done there about fourteen hours earlier. Danny had no idea that I’d fallen for Drew and I was scared to tell him, as if saying it out loud might make it more real. But who was I kidding? It was real. My feelings for Drew Conrad were about as genuine as they could be. Baby or no baby, I was falling. Hard.

  “How are things with you?” I asked.

  “Not that good. I never realized how hard it is to find a girl to have sex with, let alone find one to get into a relationship with.”

  “What do you think you’re going to do?”

  “Well, I’ve been on the computer all morning looking into adoption.”

  “Any luck?”

  “It’s just too long of a process. I highly doubt someone’s going to give a single guy a baby within the next two and a half months.”

  I took a deep breath. “Look, Danny, if I do end up getting the money, I hope you know I’m happy to help you out financially.”

  “What? No thanks. I don’t need any handouts.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I just mean…”

  “I’m a big boy. I don’t need my little sister supporting me. I’ll get my own baby and my own money!”

  “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “I’ve got to go,” he said.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “No, Jamie,” he said sadly, “I’m mad at myself.”

  I hung up the phone feeling really sad. Sad for Danny, sad for Drew, sad for myself, even sad for Ma. What a bad situation we were all in. The upside was, in my case the bad situation had a really great side effect. I was Drew Conrad’s girlfriend. And I was anything but sad about that.

  I was about to get in the shower when suddenly I got a sharp pain in my stomach. Did my conversation cause so much stress that I was experiencing stomach pain from it? Or maybe I’d had too much coffee? The pain began getting worse. I found myself holding my stomach. Seconds later, everything made sense. My pains were period cramps.

  I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Within seconds, I had tears in my eyes. My life was so messed up. Here I was, upset because there was no little Jamie (or Drew) on the way, and my reason for being disappointed was sickening. I didn’t care that I wasn’t going to be a mother in nine months, I cared that I wasn’t going to collect eight million dollars. My morals had gone bu-bye.

  Why couldn’t I bring myself to just tell Frankie I wasn’t interested in her contract, and that she could keep her money? Where were my values? Where was my pride? They were in my wallet. I wanted to make movies, I wanted to be wealthy, I wanted out of WGB. Maybe I wasn’t such a bad person. Maybe I was just a desperate person. And maybe desperate people did desperate things. Ma was a perfect example.

  So being my mother’s daughter, I pulled myself together and decided that I knew what I had to do. I popped two Advil, showered, and headed to Walgreen’s. Once inside, I slowly and cautiously walked down the feminine hygiene aisle, praying I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. What I was looking for would have shocked my friends. Not my family, though. Thanks to my baby-loving mother, I was in search of an ovulation kit.

  I had to face it. I was a little bit older. Getting pregnant might actually pose a challenge, which was a weird mindset to a girl who had spent her entire adult life trying not to get knocked up. If I really wanted a baby, I needed to go to the next step, which was to actually pinpoint the days I was ovulating. Then I would seduce Drew on those days.

  When I made it to the ovulation kit section, I was overwhelmed at how many brands and kinds of kits there were to choose from. There was a huge market for this. I giggled bitterly as I thought about the fact that everyone was willing to pay for babies, although not to Frankie’s extreme. I settled for the One-Step brand and quickly put the other two finalists back on the shelf. Then I paid and got the hell out of there.

  Once outside, I felt relieved I didn’t see anyone familiar. I also felt a sense of accomplishment, like I’d just done something that might make a difference in my life. As I walked down the street with my new little friend in its bag, my thoughts drifted once again to the living room floor and to Drew; sweet, hunky, adorable Drew. I didn’t deserve him. But I had him and that’s all that mattered right now.

  “Jamie?” I heard all of a sudden, my name snapping me out of the romantic daze I was in. I looked up. Standing there was none other than my ex-fiancé. “H
ey girl,” Max said playfully. He was trying so hard to be cool and nonchalant, but it wasn’t working for the guy. It would never work for him. Ever.

  I decided to play nice. “Hi Mr. Engaged man,” I said with a grin, “How’s it going?”

  “Not bad…not bad…” Max said in that same tone. His cockiness was unbelievable. Hadn’t he gotten enough revenge last time I’d seen him? Obviously not. He wanted to rub it in more. “Just doing a lot of wedding stuff. Picking out my tux, planning my bachelor party, you know…” Then he stopped for a second. “Well, I guess you don’t know,” he said sadly and with some drama.

  Now I became annoyed. Was he patronizing me? Was he actually forgetting the fact that I was the one who ended it, and that because of me he was marrying the person he was marrying? I felt like he thought I was devastated about him being off the market. All I could think about at this moment was how much I wanted to burn him.

  “So, what are you up to?” he asked.

  Suddenly, I realized that the object I was carrying in my bag was a ticket to revenge. I pulled it out and held it up. “This!” I exclaimed. “I’m trying to have a baby with the man I’ve fallen madly in love with.” I wondered for a split second if perhaps what I just blurted out was actually the truth.

  Max stood there with his jaw on the ground.

  “I’ve got to go,” I continued, “My honey’s waiting for me at home…” I put the kit back into the bag and then stood on my tiptoes and put my lips right in Max’s ear. “In bed,” I whispered. Then I waved, turned around, and walked away. I never looked back to see Max’s reaction, but I felt it. I knew I had really shocked him, and deep down I knew I’d hurt him. And it didn’t make me feel good. It made me feel like crap, actually.

  Instead of going home, I decided to take a walk. It felt nice to stroll without being in a hurry, and since I was feeling so many different emotions, I needed to clear my head. I felt angry with my mother. As far as Drew, I felt happy because of him, sad because of him and alive because of him. Drew Conrad was the unexpected lucky penny who had come into my life. So how could I be angry at Frankie? Because of her, I was with Drew.

  As I continued down the street, my mind drifted from Max to John and to every other man from my past. I thought about them individually and actually labeled them in my head. Max was the nerd, John, the stud. Then there was Eric, the father figure, Miles, the artsy guy, Adam, the boy toy, and Ken, the uptight closet gay guy. There were many more, all different, but all with one thing in common; wrong for me. Was Drew wrong for me too? I wondered. Initially, (before I was dating him) I labeled him the blue collar guy. Now I hated myself for thinking this way.

  Was there something wrong with someone who didn’t have a college degree? Drew Conrad was smarter than any Northwestern grad I knew. Plus he had a good heart. Wasn’t that worth more than anything? If Drew was anywhere near me at this very moment, I probably would have jumped into his arms and hugged him like a little girl whose dad just got home from a business trip. I missed him. All the time now.

  I kept walking, feeling somewhat dazed. A couple blocks further down, I stumbled upon a store I’d never seen before. I was thinking it must be new, because I seemed to remember some kind of shoe repair place in this spot, which was now gone. Stopping to take a closer look into the windows of the store, I was captured by the display of lacy bras and underwear in a rainbow of different colors. I suddenly felt very sexy, which made sense when I looked up and read the sign, “YOU SEXY THING YOU-Sexy Lingerie for Sexy Women.” I giggled when I read the bottom part of the window that read, “And by the way, all women are sexy.” I was so intrigued now, I had to go inside.

  I walked in and began looking around. Dozens of racks with beautiful lingerie were all around the pretty store. I smiled, realizing I was definitely in the market for something in this shop.

  “Hi. Let me know if I can help you,” said a very attractive woman, “My name’s Courtney.” Miraculously enough, it never clicked that this was Danny’s Courtney.

  “Okay, thanks,” I answered, still feeling sexy, but not as sexy as her. A lavender lace teddy caught my eye. I picked it up and examined it for a few seconds. Then I examined the price, a hundred and twenty five dollars. I put it back immediately and moved on. I was thinking about walking out, but I didn’t for two reasons. First, I didn’t want Miss Sexy to think I was cheap, and second, I wanted to see more. All of it was so pretty.

  A brown leopard bra with matching underwear were the next things that interested me. I picked them up. Sixty-five for the bra, thirty-five for the undies. Ouch. They were nice, though. ‘Drew would love them,’ I sold myself.

  ‘Sixty-five dollars for a bra you can buy at Target?’ I could hear Ma saying. And that was it. Sold. I didn’t even try them on. Besides, now that Ma was Miss Millions, maybe she wouldn’t have that attitude anymore.

  “I’d like to buy these,” I said to Miss Sexy, who in my eyes was now Miss overpriced. Then I headed to the counter.

  “Cute…” said Courtney, “Want to look around more?”

  ‘Not unless I want to spend a quick five hundred bucks,’ I felt like saying. “No thanks. I think I’m good.”

  I set the bra and panties, as well as my Walgreen’s bag down on the counter. As Courtney started to ring up the sale, I noticed something else on a nearby rack. It was a chocolate brown, long, silky nightgown, the top of it a halter that tied in the back. I picked it up and loved how soft it felt. It was so elegant, so classy.

  “Isn’t that pretty?” said Courtney, “It goes so well with what you’re buying.”

  I looked at the size. Medium. Perfect. I looked at the price, one seventy-five. Not so ideal. After hesitating for about two seconds, I decided I loved it, and had to have it. “Okay, I’ll get this too,” I said.

  “You’ll be glad you did. It’s really something.”

  She was right. It was beautiful. More importantly, I knew Drew would love it. I started to think about him touching it. And touching me. Suddenly, I felt happy and very very very sexy.

  “Two ninety-nine o six,” said Courtney.

  I must have gasped without hearing myself, because after I handed Courtney my credit card, she did something really nice.

  “Listen,” she said, “I was going to put that nightgown on sale in a few days…” She re-rang the register. “How does two thirty-one even sound?”

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “Yes. You seem like you’re buying this for a special occasion. Am I right?”

  I thought about the words special occasion. Every night with Drew was like a special occasion, most of the dates better than any Valentine’s day I could ever remember. I smiled at Courtney and answered, “You could say that.”

  “I can tell. You’re glowing.”

  “Are you the owner?”

  “I am,” she said, as she wrapped the things in tissue.

  “Well thank you so much. I’m sure you’re going to do great here.”

  Courtney smiled and handed me the bag. “You think so?”

  “Of course I do.”

  I walked out of the store. In my left hand, I held a bag with a bra, undies, and a beautiful nightgown in it. In my right hand I held an ovulation kit. And in my heart, I held Drew Conrad, the camera man whom I’d pursued for a baby and for money, but whom I couldn’t deny any longer, was instead taking my breath away more and more with each passing day.

  Chapter 21

  I kept walking down the block. For some reason, I didn’t want to go home yet. I began to notice little things I’d never taken the time to see before, like an elderly couple walking peacefully hand in hand, a younger couple sitting on a bench, feeding each other ice-cream, and two college-age kids passionately kissing.

  What made relationships work? I wondered. When I was with any one of my old flames, we’d never been as happy as these people seemed. Then I saw something that made me think maybe the previous three couples were flukes; not the norm. I noticed a guy and a g
irl standing in front of a store arguing. They were shouting at each other. I watched intently. ‘See?’ I thought to myself, ‘This is what eventually happens in relationships.’

  I pretended to look in the window of Banana Republic so I could get closer and hear more of their fight. The yelling was getting louder. Now the girl looked as if she might cry. It reminded me of my relationship with John. I thought to myself, ‘I rest my case.’ Maybe no one was truly happy in a relationship.

  All of a sudden, the couple stopped shouting and silence ensued for a moment. What was going on? The suspense was killing me. It was like watching a movie. I was waiting for the girl to run off. That didn’t happen, though. Instead, both the guy and the girl burst out laughing.

  I stood there baffled. I didn’t get it. They seemed so angry at each other just seconds ago. Now they were laughing so hard that the girl actually had tears streaming down her face. The laughing went on for a couple more minutes and then they hugged.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” said the guy.

  “Me, too,” answered the girl, sniffling.

  Then I watched the guy wipe away his girlfriend or wife’s tears with his finger. It wasn’t until he and I made eye contact and I realized he caught me spying on them that I quickly turned and continued down the block.

  I couldn’t believe it. Was everyone happy? Strangely, I found myself angry. I was resenting these people and feeling bitter about everyone who was fulfilled in their relationships. And then I realized, why begrudge them? Join them! With Drew, true happiness was in my grasp. All I had to do was reach out and take it. And forget about the baby for money scam, of course.