Jackpot! Page 11

  “Um, Drew?” It felt so awkward, but it had to be done.

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you have any diseases I should know about?”

  He stopped kissing me and smiled. “No, I promise.”

  “Are you sure? I mean…”

  “Yes. I actually just got tested for everything. I took out a whole life insurance policy,” he said, “Do you have one of those? I mean, I heard it’s a good long term investment and…”

  “Shut up!” I said with a giggle.

  “What? I’m just curious,” he laughed.

  Drew grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the mouth. This was good. No diseases. The only thing I had to worry about now, was the fact that I was a selfish user, who was about to trick a really nice guy into becoming a father.

  In between kisses he added, “Jamie, if you’re worried about getting pregnant, we can use something.”

  What? Use something? Was he crazy? I thought.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, putting my lips back on his. What a snake I was! Nonetheless, the snake was really enjoying his lips, even though the guilt was overwhelming. If any guy knew he was being used to get someone pregnant, wouldn’t he run the other way as fast as he could? Drew didn’t have that option. He had no way of knowing he was being manipulated, that he was part of a scheme. He thought I was about to sleep with him because I desired him, which let’s be honest, was the case, but he had no clue that during the act, he might help create a fetus.

  We made love that night and I had to say, hands down, it was the best sex I’d ever had. Around 6:00 a.m. the next morning, I got out of bed as quietly as I could, slipped on an oversized sweatshirt, and headed to the kitchen for some water. As I sat at the counter, sipping a bottled water and watching the sun come up, I thought about what a perfect night it had been. From the moment Drew came to the door, things couldn’t have gone any better. And the best part of the whole thing was, the goal of the date had been achieved.

  I touched my stomach and wondered if I’d made a baby. I smiled. I touched my stomach again and wondered if I’d have a boy or a girl. This time I cringed. Not because I didn’t like children, because I was afraid of them.

  At that moment, I felt Drew’s arms hug me from behind. They were so warm, so comfortable. I turned around and began to kiss this beautiful man, standing before me in his boxers.

  “I had fun last night,” he whispered.

  “Me, too.”

  I felt more at ease with Drew, the guy who’d been hanging around my office for years, the guy who I’d bypassed, perhaps taken for granted, than with anyone I’d ever known, including my ex-husband and my two-minute fiancé. He made me feel desirable and sexy, and at the same time, safe and secure. Suddenly, I thought, ‘Maybe I could love this man.’ Ma would hate him but who cared? She did this. In fact, I would actually get tremendous joy and satisfaction from that aspect of it.

  At this very moment, something caught my eye. Sitting on the kitchen counter was a picture in a frame. Even though I’d placed the black and white photo there when I moved in years earlier, and regardless of the fact that I’d looked at it hundreds of times, I couldn’t help but become fixated on it at this moment. It was a picture of my parents on their wedding day.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Drew.

  “My mom and dad,” I began, never taking my eyes off the photo, “they didn’t have a big, elaborate wedding. They had a small ceremony and then dinner at my grandparent’s house after. There were like thirty-five people, total, at the reception.”

  “Oh,” replied Drew.

  “My mom’s dress,” I went on, picking up the frame to give Drew a closer look, “it’s pretty, huh?”

  Drew smiled, “Yes, it is.”

  “This wasn’t even her own dress, you know. She couldn’t afford one, so she borrowed it from a girlfriend.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “My mom told me there was a woman whose house they cleaned, who gave her as a gift, the money to buy her own wedding dress.”

  “But you said this was her friend’s dress.”

  “It was.” Tears now began flowing down my cheeks. “Do you know what my mom did with the money?”

  “What?”

  “She bought her mother a dress. She said the mother of the bride had to look her best.”

  Drew hugged me tight, and I burst into tears. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

  “But if you knew…if you knew what my mother was doing…”

  He continued to hold me. “Well, the good news is, she’s got all the money she needs now.”

  This comment sent me over the edge. I was now semi-hyperventilating. Ma, dressed in her friend’s bridal gown, standing next to the love of her life, looked so beautiful, so happy. She was such a good person back then. What had happened to her? How could a woman who chose her mother’s happiness over her own, turn into a psychotic grandma wannabe, who was bribing her kids into parent-hood? I just didn’t get it. And it was making me crazy, and sad, and miserable. And ironically, the man holding me was making me calm and happy and blissful.

  The only way I could make sense of anything was to realize that in the picture, Frankie didn’t know yet that she would bear two children. She didn’t know yet that her husband would die seven years later. She didn’t know yet that her adult children would still be single at ages thirty-two and thirty-four. And maybe as good hearted and ethical of a person as she was, she felt because of her misfortune with her husband, she was owed the miracle of life, perhaps the blessings of her children’s children. I wasn’t sure, but suddenly I wanted to please my mother and give her what she wanted. Not to mention, I also wanted her eight million bucks, which is why I decided at this moment, maybe I needed to increase my odds of getting knocked up.

  “Come here,” I said as I took Drew’s hand and led him back to the bedroom.

  “I’m still trying to figure you out,” he said with a chuckle, “A few days ago, I thought you hated me.”

  “I never hated you.”

  “Am I your rebound guy, Jamie?”

  “Shut up and get under the covers.”

  Chapter 16

  Sitting in a booth at Sushi Samba with Janine was like being in prison. Nothing against Janine, she was actually a sweetheart. But there was only one girl I wanted to be with, and asshole me had just broken up with her.

  Janine was one of three prospective mothers for my eight million dollar baby. I’d met her a couple months earlier on the shoot for the “Warts-be-gone” ad campaign. Janine was the hair and make-up stylist assigned to me for the day. I know it sounds really conceited, but I could tell she instantly loved me. Just being honest. The thing about me was, yes, I was a womanizer, but I was also a really nice guy, friendly and cool to everyone I worked with. So it wasn’t out of character for me to befriend Janine. While she styled my hair and applied my make-up, the two of us laughed and made jokes about the ad campaign.

  “This guy needs to worry more about the disgusting things on his hands than about how his hair looks!” I joked about the character I was about to portray.

  “Yeah buddy, go to Supercuts and save your money,” Janine played along, “I hear ‘Warts-be Gone’ is pretty expensive!”

  Janine and I laughed and talked a lot, but even though I found her attractive, I had no intention of asking her out, mainly because I’d just started seeing Jennifer and didn’t want to cheat. I had morals, but let’s be honest, I was worried about my career, too, and cheating on my agent wouldn’t be too wise.

  So at the end of the day, I hugged Janine good-bye and left it at that. It was no surprise to me, though, when she slipped me her business card. But as I did with all of them, I shoved the card in my jeans pocket, never to be seen again.

  Now, three months later, because of my dear, sweet mother, and my desperation for her money, my memory was somehow sparked, and I remembered Janine telling me she worked at Salon Buzz on Oak Street. I called information, got the number and was connected to Janine within a mi
nute.

  “Hello, this is Janine…” she said into the phone. She told me later that she was having trouble holding the receiver because she was wearing rubber gloves that were semi covered in hair dye. She said she was in the middle of highlighting a woman’s hair, and the only reason she took the call was because whoever answered the phone told her it was a guy named Danny who sounded cute.

  “Janine, this is Danny,” I simply said.

  “Danny who?” she asked.

  “The guy with warts all over his hands,” I joked.

  “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, “I gave up on you!”

  I told her that the reason I never called was because I had a girlfriend at the time, which was the truth, and she was cool with it. In fact, she couldn’t have been more delighted to hear from me. Within a minute of the conversation we had plans to meet.

  The date was going pretty well, even though my heart was miles away. Still, I was pretty sure I’d be going home tonight with Janine, seducing her, and hopefully knocking her up. I felt pretty guilty, but rationalized what I was about to do by telling myself that if I was lucky enough to get Janine pregnant, she and the baby would be well taken care of financially. In fact, she and the baby would be rich beyond their wildest dreams, and Janine wouldn’t have any trouble finding a husband. I hated myself, but I was doing what I thought was best. And besides, I wasn’t really doing anything. My mother was. I was the victim.

  The minute I paid the check, I stood up and said “Want to go?”

  “Sure,” she said, standing up. I grabbed her hand and led her out the door. From there, things happened exactly the way I wanted them to. We went back to her place, drank some more wine, and began taking each other’s clothes off. The only curveball was my inability to get Courtney off my mind. It was suddenly hard to fool around with someone and not think of her the entire time. Not only because I felt like I was cheating (even though I wasn’t), but because she was the one I wished was in my arms.

  “I’m so glad you called me,” said Janine, unbuttoning my pants. She seemed so happy and so into me. I couldn’t have felt like more of a jerk.

  “Can I ask you something, Janine?”

  “Sure,” she replied.

  “Are you…um…healthy?”

  Janine took her hands off the zipper of my pants and said, “What do you mean? Like do I have any STDs?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No. No diseases. You?”

  “No.”

  “Are you on the pill?” I asked, realizing most guys pray a girl will say yes, and I was praying she’d say no.

  “No.”

  “Oh,” I answered, trying not to sound too psyched.

  “Don’t worry. I have an IUD.”

  The look on my face must have confused her, because she giggled and said, “I thought that would make you happy. You look like a kid whose dog just died.”

  “Janine, I don’t feel so great.” I zipped my pants up. Then I ran back into her living room, somehow found my shirt in about four seconds, and put it on. I held my stomach and said, “I think I may have food poisoning.”

  Chapter 17

  The second of the three girls I had dates lined up with was Ronna Bliss, who interestingly enough was a former sportscaster at WGB, where Jamie worked. My sister had introduced us a couple years earlier and we began dating. Six weeks into the relationship, Ronna told me she loved me and wanted to marry me. In true Danny style, I felt otherwise and broke up with her. I didn’t want a wife. I wanted someone to have fun with. That was it.

  Ronna was devastated. Jamie would tell me how she would come into her office in tears and want to talk about it for hours. She would ask Jamie, “What’s wrong with me?”

  And my sis would answer truthfully, “Nothing, Ronna, I promise. It’s Danny. He just doesn’t want to get married. Ever.”

  “What did I do wrong?” she would ask.

  “Nothing, Ronna, I promise. It’s Danny. He just doesn’t want to get married. Ever,” Jamie would repeat.

  “Maybe if I would have been different, less demanding…” she would say, “What can I do to get him back?”

  And of course, Jamie would reply, “Nothing, Ronna, I promise. It’s Danny. He just doesn’t want to get married. Ever.”

  My sister said to me with sarcasm, “I could save a lot of time by recording my response and just pressing a button every time Ronna comes into my office. Truly, though, I feel for Ronna.”

  I knew Jamie was sincere. I knew this because when her husband cheated on her and moved on, I saw sadness in my sister that truly made me sick. I wanted to kill my ex-brother-in-law for hurting such a good person. Jamie had married for love, and instead was lied to and then dumped. But as badly as I felt about what John did to her, Ronna and I were in a completely different situation. Yes, I felt badly about ending a relationship and being unable to commit, but at least I was letting her know upfront, before too much time had passed. And now, Ronna could move on. Although, according to Jamie, that wasn’t happening too fast.

  Ronna’s frequent visits had started to irritate my sister and she wanted desperately for the girl to stop coming into her office every two minutes for counseling.

  “I have to do something,” she said to me one day, so I offered up a suggestion.

  “Why don’t you set her up with that camera guy? What’s his name?”

  “Drew?” she asked, her voice filled with surprise.

  “Yeah. Girls like that guy, don’t they?”

  “Umm…yeah, I guess.”

  “Unless you like him for yourself.”

  “Hello…does the name Max mean anything to you?” she responded.

  I wanted to tell her that no, that name didn’t mean anything to me because I knew it didn’t really mean anything to HER. I kept my mouth shut, though, and reiterated what a good couple I thought Ronna and the camera guy would make.

  Drew and Ronna ended up dating for about a month, and then decided to be just friends. But the mission had been accomplished. Whatever the guy did, Ronna was over me. She ended up leaving the station a few months later and went to work for some sports marketing firm. Rumor was, her salary alone was over a hundred thousand. I also heard Ronna now had a serious boyfriend, but that didn’t stop me from calling and asking her out in my time of desperation. I figured these things blow up so often that chances were, the relationship was over. And when Ronna agreed to get together with me, my theory was confirmed.

  We decided to meet for drinks at Glascots, a local, no-frills Lincoln Park bar where they serve peanuts in baskets and people throw the shells on the floor. Ronna and I had gone there a few times when we were dating, and in Ronna’s eyes, it was “our place.”

  We sat at the bar and sipped cold beer out of frosty mugs, talking about Ronna’s new career, and my jobs, including my latest gig as a marketer for Ed Debevic’s, a famous hamburger place, where I actually had to dress up like a hamburger and pass out coupons.

  I found it interesting that most of the girls I went out with always asked about my acting career. Except for one. Courtney. She had spent most of our date asking me questions about my teaching job. She seemed more interested and impressed with that career than she did about acting. And that said something to me.

  “Which is better?” Ronna joked, “The pretzel costume or the burger?” At this moment, thinking about the answer to that question would have made ending my life right then and there easy, had I not had Frankie’s money to look forward to. Hope was on the horizon, though. If tonight went well, I’d be sleeping and impregnating Ronna, and I’d be a multi-millionaire in nine months.

  The sad part was, however, that when Ronna began taking me on a trip down memory lane, talking about our brief relationship, she was beaming while I was feeling majorly relieved that it was over. It was ironic. I was trying to get this girl to have my baby, yet I was thrilled we weren’t together anymore. Thanks, Ma, was all I could think.

  After a couple brewskis, Ronna moved closer to me,
put her hand on my thigh and whispered in my ear. “I really missed you, Danny. I’m so glad you called.”

  “I missed you, too,” I said, trying to act as sincere as I did when I told people how great Ed Debevic’s burgers were.

  “You know,” she went on, “I never told you this when we dated, but…”

  “What?”

  She seemed tentative, afraid to continue.

  “What? Tell me.”

  “No, I can’t. It’s too embarrassing.”

  “Please, just tell me.”

  She looked at me shyly. “I really think I loved you. I mean…” She took a deep breath, “I wanted to settle down with you. Have kids even.”

  Upon hearing this bold statement, I wanted to scream and shout as loud as I could and do jumping jacks around the bar. This scenario couldn’t have been working out any better. How easy everything was going to be!

  “Hey, want to get out of here?” I asked, seizing the moment.

  “Sure,” she said with a big grin.

  I threw some money down on the bar, put my arm around Ronna, and led her to the front, toward the door. I was home free, beginning to see the pay-off ahead. I envisioned Frankie handing me a check. I pictured my future clearly now, and in it were cars, expensive vacations, a nice, new condo, a Rolex, perhaps. Unfortunately, what I failed to see was the huge beefy football player-type guy who had just walked into the bar.

  Ronna saw him first. “Oh my God!” she shouted, “You’re following me?”

  ‘Is Ronna talking to this big guy who looks like he could kick my ass?’ I asked myself. I got an answer pretty quickly.

  “Ronna, what the hell?” answered Big Guy.

  “Umm, who is this?” I asked Ronna, who just stood there unable to move.

  “I’m Ronna’s boyfriend, asshole,” said Big Guy, as he stuck his face right in mine.